Episode

091

Sofia Suardi

January 26, 2026

Subscribe on:

Sofia Suardi: Purpose as Being, Depression as Seasons & Returning to the Natural Self

Your Purpose Isn’t a Job. It’s Being Alive.

What if the entire culture sold you the wrong idea of purpose?

What if purpose isn’t a career, a calling, a brand, or something you “figure out” by 30… but a state of being you either inhabit or avoid?

In this episode of Awaken Your Purpose, Zenka Caro sits down with Sofia Suardi for a raw, unsanitized conversation about purpose, depression, existential collapse, and the quiet rebellion of choosing to simply be.

This conversation lands as the final stretch of the 100-Person Purpose Research Project with the Holomovement. After dozens of interviews, one pattern keeps showing up: the people who feel most aligned didn’t optimize their lives. They stopped performing them.

Zenka also weaves in reflections on The Wave in Portugal, Sofia Suardi: Purpose as Being, Depression as Seasons & Returning to the Natural Self

Your Purpose Isn’t a Job. It’s Being Alive.

What if the entire culture sold you the wrong idea of purpose?

What if purpose isn’t a career, a calling, a brand, or something you “figure out” by 30… but a state of being you either inhabit or avoid?

Zenka also weaves in reflections on The Wave in Portugal, where artists, scientists, philosophers, musicians, and edge-walkers gather not to pitch themselves, but to sense what’s actually emerging. Portugal, often named as the birthplace of the Fifth Kingdom, becomes a backdrop for this episode’s deeper provocation: the next renaissance won’t be built by hustlers. It will be remembered by humans.

Sofia shares what it was like to wake up existentially at sixteen and then spend years in what she calls a long internal winter. She speaks openly about numbness, depression, guilt for having “everything,” and the terror of not feeling anything at all. She talks about dance as a nervous-system reset, darkness retreats done alone in a bedroom, off-grid living, modern life as an evolutionary mismatch, and why letting yourself fully fall apart can be the thing that saves you.

00:00 Feeling Purpose as an Energy

02:04 Closing the 100-Person Purpose Research Project

03:07 The Wave in Portugal & the New Renaissance

04:10 Sofia’s Awakening at 16

05:10 “My Purpose Is to Be”

05:30 When Life Looks Perfect but Feels Empty

06:06 Reality, Belief & Perception

06:52 Letting Go of External Goals

07:43 Falling Into the Black Hole

08:52 Dance as Moving Meditation

10:02 Mind-Wandering & Presence

11:16 The Liminal State Before Sleep

12:14 Berlin, Flow & Connection

13:02 Purpose Alongside Depression

13:56 Five Years of Winter

15:13 Ego Death & Seeing the World Anew

16:17 Losing Interest in What Once Brought Joy

17:24 Guilt, Gifts & Numbness

19:06 Allowing the Depression Fully

20:16 A Personal Darkness Retreat

21:16 Spring: The Slow Defrost

22:43 When Simple Things Feel Impossible

24:31 Creativity Returns

25:09 Sedona & Off-Grid Living

27:06 Modern Life & Modern Illness

29:25 Farming, Earthiness & Balance

31:12 You Already Are Your Purpose

32:00 Being Is Enough

33:57 Living Purpose Without Forcing It

36:09 Beingness Leads to Flow

37:26 Life Is Everything at Once

38:07 An Open Ending

Follow Sofias Work: https://www.instagram.com/sofiaaa.travel

Learn more about the Holomovement Purpose Lab: https://ourlightnet.org/purposemap

This collaboration is brought to you by stewards of the Holomovement and LightNet. Special thanks to our Broadcast Partners: Humanity’s Team, Unify, Good of the Whole and New Realities.

The Holomovement is a social movement that awakens us to our interconnectedness, igniting a critical mass of collaborative action serving the good of the whole. Learn more at http://www.holomovement.net

http://www.LightNet.org is a collective intelligence platform mapping how people do impossible things. We then use the data to make breakthroughs of our own in teams of 8-12 and continue to share the data for those to follow.

@the_holomovement IG: @ourlightnet FB @theholomovementofficial FB @OurLightNet@ourlightnet where artists, scientists, philosophers, musicians, and edge-walkers gather not to pitch themselves, but to sense what’s actually emerging. Portugal, often named as the birthplace of the Fifth Kingdom, becomes a backdrop for this episode’s deeper provocation: the next renaissance won’t be built by hustlers. It will be remembered by humans.